Warning: Contains strong language, strong opinions and absolutely no corporate bollocks.
BIG BASTARD BOB.
Est. whenever Bob finally lost his patience   ★   Yorkshire, England   ★   Unfiltered since birth
The unofficial voice of the thoroughly pissed off

PROPER
BOOKS.
IMPROPER
LANGUAGE.

Meet Big Bastard Bob. A Yorkshire bloke with a gob like a broken exhaust and precisely zero patience for modern life, political clowns or anyone who says “let's circle back”.

Meet the bloody books ↓
NO
BOLLOCKS.Well, actually, quite a lot of bollocks.

TWO BOOKS.
ZERO FILTER.

Available on Smashwords ↗
Cover of Modern Bollocks by Owen Croft (Big Bastard Bob)
EXHIBIT A / THE DIGITAL NIGHTMARE

MODERN
BOLLOCKS

How Everything Got Too Fuckin' Clever for Its Own Good

Cars that nag. Fridges that grass you up. Parking apps that demand your life story. A world where your watch judges your sleep and the telly needs a password just to show you the bloody news.

Bob, a 58-year-old Yorkshireman who thinks “the cloud” ought to bring rain, is here to give modern technology the roasting it deserves.

“The modern world is takin' the piss. Bob's handin' it back.”
Get Modern Bollocks ↗
Read more about this bloody book

A full-fat, foul-mouthed rant against subscriptions, smart devices, QR codes, digital IDs and all the overcomplicated nonsense that's turned everyday life into a beeping nightmare. If you've ever wanted to tell a parking app to sod off, you're in good company.

Cover of Crisis on a Biscuit by Big Bastard Bob (Owen Croft)
EXHIBIT B / THE NATIONAL MELTDOWN

CRISIS ON
A BISCUIT

How Britain Went from Empire to Empire State of Total Bastard Collapse

From potholes with their own postcodes to politicians who couldn't run a bath, Bob surveys the state of Britain and finds the whole bloody thing wanting.

It's a full-blown Yorkshire heart attack on paper: no graphs, no diplomatic balancing act, and definitely no hope. Just a brew, a biscuit and an industrial-strength rant.

“It's grim up north. It's bloody grim everywhere.”
Get Crisis on a Biscuit ↗
Read more about this bloody book

Big Bastard Bob — ex-pit, ex-foundry, ex-give-a-shit — tackles politicians, the NHS, energy bills, farmers, free speech and the country's ever-growing catalogue of absurdities. The working men's club rant to end all working men's club rants.

WHO THE
HELL
IS BOB?

Big Bastard Bob is the spectacularly fed-up, six-foot-four Yorkshire alter ego of comedy author Owen Croft. He doesn't do polite. He doesn't do jargon. And he certainly doesn't do mandatory software updates.

For more outrageous stories, visit owencroft.com ↗. Or see Bob's other home at bigbastardbob.co.uk ↗.